11 Unrealistic (or Unhealthy) expectations in a relationship – Part 2
6. Your partner should apologize always
What is ‘Unrealistic’
Even if you are right or wrong in any discussion, do you expect your partner to apologize to you every time? It’s not always about ‘who was wrong’ in a fight between couples, if saying “Sorry” by any one of you can keep the relationship happy, there is no harm in saying sorry. It’s more related to ego issues, which are very harmful to any relationship. So, even if you are right, it’s okay to say sorry sometimes.
What it doesn't mean
No one can decide in a relationship who will say sorry first. It’s between understanding of both of you as well as the situation based on which you or your partner can say sorry and continue your happy relationship.
7. Your partner should always give you priority over everything else
What is ‘Unrealistic’
Do you expect your partner to be there for you every time? They have their own life and at any point of time, they might have some other priorities too. It might be possible that when you need them, they have some important business meeting to attend or they are busy taking care of any of their loved ones who need them more than you.
What it doesn't mean
It doesn’t mean that I’m asking your partner to keep you at the lowest of their Priority list. But, even if you are the top-most priority to your partner, they might sometimes need to do something else than what you want from them. And if it happens sometimes, it’s just fine!
8. Your partner should fix all problems of your life
What is ‘Unrealistic’
It’s amazing if you have a partner who understands and solves your problems with priority. But everyone has limits. Your partner is also Not a superhuman and sometimes might not be able to fix your problems because they don’t have time or ability to fix some specific problem of yours.
What it doesn't mean
It doesn’t mean that you don’t discuss your problems with your partner. But at the same time, you should understand that due to any reason if they are not able to solve your problem, you can take the help of an expert or someone else from your friend circle or relatives.
9. Your partner should treat you in the same way as your best friend’s spouse handle them
What is ‘Unrealistic’
The Grass Looks Greener on the Other Side of the Fence. It would be very unrealistic and impractical if you want your partner to treat you in the same way as your best friend’s spouse handles them. Everyone has own way of handling relationships. Remember that your relationship goals cannot be set by comparing with others. Comparison kills relationships! Also, making your partner feel that your friend’s spouse is better than him/her might hurt your partner’s ego.
What it doesn't mean
We all want our partners to treat us in a way that we like. In such a case, instead of referring to someone else, you can discuss with your partner and tell them that you want them to treat you in ‘That Specific Way’ because You like that way, not because someone else is doing the same.
10. Your partner should always take care of your loved ones (family/friends/relatives)
What is ‘Unrealistic’
This is a very common issue that occurs in relationships, especially between married couples. Most of us want our partner to take care of our family members and loved ones, which is a no doubt a realistic expectation, but it becomes unrealistic as soon as:
Case 1: You expect your partner to do it very frequently but your partner may have some other important work at the same time, so they can’t take care of everyone at high priority every time.
Case 2: Or, You expect your partner to take care of your loved ones, but in return, you don’t do the same for their loved ones.
What it doesn't mean
Taking care of each other’s family members and loved ones is one of the major responsibilities that come up with maximum love relationships, especially in India. Fulfilling such responsibility would definitely develop trust between you and strengthen your relationship.
11. Your Partner should always get sexually intimate whenever you want
What is ‘Unrealistic’
Any random day can be a hectic day for your partner due to sickness or having excessive work at home or their workplace. And sometimes they might not be physically or mentally well due to any other reason. If you expect your partner to be physically intimate with you whenever you want, and you feel anxious and frustrated if they say ‘NO’. This is also a sign of an unrealistic expectation.
What it doesn't mean
It doesn’t mean that you completely stop fantasizing about sex with your partner or stop asking them to get intimate or check your partner’s mood before showing your interest every time. Of course, ‘sometimes’ it may happen that your partner is not in the ‘Mood’. If such instances occur often, you need to talk to your partner and consult an expert, but if such things are not very regular and happening because of some temporary situation, you might need to check if your expectations are fair.
There are many more unrealistic expectations that anyone can have from their partner. I have taken 11 commons from that list.
Think about the following questions:1. What other Unrealistic Expectations have you or your partner had in past?2. Do you or your partner still have any Unrealistic Expectations that are hampering your relationship?3. What are you doing to get rid of such unrealistic (or unhealthy) expectations?
Please mention in the comments below.
इस ब्लॉग को हिंदी में पढ़ने के लिए इस लिंक पर क्लिक करें: संबंधों में 11 अवास्तविक (या अस्वस्थ) अपेक्षाएँ (भाग-2)